Why can't I do what I am supposed to do?

So on the very first day of school I was told about this assignment that I am supposed to be working on. It is a simple four page book review. I was finished the book within tow days of finding out about the project. The name of the book is Case Critical: Social Services and Social Justice in Canada by Ben Carniol. It was a really good book, good to get debate going; Ralph Klein would hate it.

So why can't I write about it? I have tried for the last four days, and can barely do anything. While trying to still be useful, I have developed an idea and done research for a reesearch paper for the same class (not due for a long time- but I love my idea- I'll be writing on special interest groups and lobbyists, and how they work, and how to best manipulate them). I also wrote an outline for a purposal I am supposed to write for group work- on a theoretical group that we want to run (mine is for teen girls with low self confidence).

But why can't I work on what I am actually supposed to do???

A Day Off

Well, today I had an exceptionally rare day off of school. My field placement supervisor was not going to be there, and as I am still unoriented to everything, I got a day off. So, this is what I accomplished off of my to do list:

• Check out the new thrift store just down the street
• Go to the bank
• Go to the library
• Go grocery shopping
• Clean out my fridge. (It really needed doing. I started will a full fridge and ended with a mostly empty fridge.)
• Take out trash.
• Do dishes.
• Do some computer stuff.
• Thaw some hamburger. (Well, I am still doing it. I am hoping to make a nice supper.)
• Catch up on WebCT

Things I did not accomplish:

• Reading, Reading, Reading!!!!!! (For school. I am perfectly capable on keeping up on pleasure reading.)
• Get my thoughts together for my social policy paper
• Research stuff for placement (that may still get done)

It was a rather nice, abiet chilly, day, spent chiefly in my own company.

Oh, but I did meet the nicest old man in the Safeway today. I had the hiccups, so I fished out some juice, bent over, and drank it upside down. (Only thing that works. May-B suggested it when I was staying at her house for QoWP's wedding. What can I say? It was loud, and silencing the thirty or so of us at BPs. And giving us (me at least) a headache. I have been thankful for the idea ever since. Even if it makes me look stupid in public.)

Anyway, so this nice old man stopped me for a discourse on hiccups. This poor man had had hiccups since 1984!!! That is longer than I have been alive! Anyway, just last month, he had finally found a cure, and is now enjoying life again. He had been to doctors, who said that hiccups is a sign of acid reflex (odd, but OK), had spent a bunch of money, and changed his diet a bunch, and had been on a bunch of different medications, but he finally found a herbal remedy- some sort of aloe vera drink. He was so happy about it- I would be too. Imagine having loud, embarressing hiccups for twenty-two years.

I would have turned into a hermit.

Memeing

3 things that scare me are:

• mice, very definately mice
• being pulled over by the cops
• riding with someone who makes poor passing decisions

3 people that make you laugh:

• Ky
• Kelly
• Bronwyn

3 things that you hate the most?

• Bullies
• Large crowds
• cramps

3 things I don't understand:

• How individuals can have great ideas, but collectively, their ideas suck
• How computers work
• Boys (lol)

3 things I am doing right now:

• blogging
• watching Harry Potter 4
• eating Chunks Ahoy cookies

3 things I want to do before I die:

• Learn to ballroom dance
• Fall in love
• Take the trip of a lifetime to somewhere amazing

3 things I can do:

• Ride a horse (after a sort)
• Write exams
• Spend money

3 things to describe my personality:

• Reserved until you get to know her
• then crazy and quirky
• and caring and compassionate

3 things I can't do:

• Swim (failed the first swimming lesson 3 times)
• Do hair
• Run not like a girl

3 things I think you should listen to:

• Your parents
• any Martina McBride song
• any Paul Brandt

3 things you should never listen to:

• Anyone who says you'll fail
• Anyone who says you are no good
• Anyone who says you are ugly

3 things I'd like to learn:

• Ballroom dancing
• Assessment and Intervention Stategies
• More self reflection

3 favorite foods:

• Lasanga (meat, cheese, pasta- what else does anything need?)
• chocolate
• beef stroganof

3 beverages I drink regularly:

• water
• milk
• juice

3 shows I watched as a kid:

• Prince of BelAir
• Mr Dressup
• The Nanny

3 things I have on my desk:

• Empty Chunks Ahoy container
• fauculty list
• mini globe and pencil sharpener

3 things I am grateful for:

• Jesus
• Being in the social work program
• My apartment and roommate

Camp Stories

Well, I just got back from a weekend retreat with my church, and I had so much fun! I:

• Participated in a pillowfight! It was wild and crazy fun! It was on my list of things to do before I die, so I can cross it off now
• Rode in the back of a truck with many other people- it hurt SO much to brush my hair afterwards!
• Had a short dancing lesson, which reaffirmed what I already knew- I want to learn how to ballroom dance!
• Watched people jump off a bridge into a river- I can't swim, so didn't do it myself, but watching was so very much fun.
• Twirled around a broom in circles, and then promptly fell over when I tried to walk.
• Shrieked at a lot of wasps.
• Stayed up to the wee hours of the morning talking with a lot of really awesome girls.
• Played the telephone game at banquet.
• Got the giggles innumerable times.
• Freaked out a bunch of jr. high girls with a game we play every year.
• And almost accidentally slept in the boys dorm.

Oh, that last one got your interest?

Well, we didn't get there until after 1AM, by which time everyone was already in bed. So, we went to the cabin to see if there was any spots left where the older girls usually stay. We were very disappointed to see that there wasn't, so we left, and slept in the garage with the younger girls.

In the morning, at breakfast, I overhear one of the guys mention that THEY were in the cabin.

I promptly got a fit of the giggles, as did all of us girls who checked out the cabin.

Imagine this scenerio:

Say there was room in there for us. All those boys were OUT (fyi, the girls were up and talking for hours after that). We would have just crawled in, changed into pj's, shoved some people in sleeping bags over, crawled in between a few people, and gone to sleep. The next morning, we would have woken up, and realized that we were surrounded by boys... they would have realized that they were surrounded by girls... It would be painfully awkward for the next 10 minutes, while we grabbed our stuff and hopped out of there in our sleeping bags... Then we would have laughed about it for the rest of camp. It would have been a story told for generations... about how the boys and girls accidentally slept together.

Another odd incident, and my thoughts on this pattern

Check out this conversation:

I am at work. I see a man wave me over, so I go over:

Jen: Hi, is there anything I can help you with?

CrazyGuy (we'll call him CG): I am sorry to bother you at work, but I was walking by, and couldn't help but notice and tell you that you are absolutely beautiful.

Jen (a little taken back, but not shocked, too many crazy people have hit on her this summer): Thank you for the compliment.

CG: I would really love to visit and get to know you better.

Jen: I can't do that, but I thank you for the compliment and the bravery it must have taken to come talk to me. (I was trying out that thing from Hitch.)

CG: Well, even if I gave you my number, and you could call me and we could get together?

Jen: Fine. (thinking taking it and pitching it was easier than refusing)

CG: This is the number I am staying at right now, and the this number here is just voice mail, I have no fixed address right now.

Jen: OK.

CG: I look forward to seeing you.

Jen: Thank you for the compliment. Bye.

So then I promptly went to the back room and pitched his number, and hid out for a while.

I have learned something this summer. Apparently I am an attractive girl. Too bad the only people who think this are strangers, and thus, only ask me out because they like my body. I don't appreciate that attention, because I know that they don't like my mind or my spirit, but just my body. And I won't let myself be used like that.

But the opening line on this crazy guy (he really was crazy, not all his marbles were there) would have absolutely melted me if it had been a guy I knew and trusted saying it. Absolutely melted.

The Theme Song

I have a theme song!

Inspired by May-B's question, I gave it lots of thought, and rejected many songs, until I finally hit it:

"Happy Girl" by Martina McBride. Do you guys know it?

I used to live in a darkened room
Had a face of stone
And a heart of gloom
Lost my hope, I was so far gone
Cryin' all my tears
With the curtains drawn
I didn't know until my soul broke free
I've got these angels watching over me

Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world
Is a happy girl

I used to hide in a party crowd
Bottled up inside
Feeling so left out
Standing in a corner wearing concrete shoes
With my frozen smile
And my lighted fuse
Now every time I start to feel like that
I roll my heart out like a welcome mat

Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide worldIs a happy girl

Laugh when I feel like it
Cry when I feel like it
That's just how my life is
That's how it goes
Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl

And I've come to know
That the world won't change
Just 'cause I complain
Let the axis twirl
I'm a happy girl

Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world
Is a happy girl
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
I'm a happy girl

Sitemeter again

Someone found my blog by looking up "Hanes you can't over love your underwear lyrics"

How great is that?

Creepy Story of the Day

So, two months ago I bought a really good steak sandwich in the food court at the mall.

Today, this simpleminded man about my mom's age comes into my store in a different mall. He remembered me from when I bought that stupid sandwich from him!! Two months ago! Isn't that wierd? And if that isn't enough, he promptly hits on me and asked me out!

So what was my response? I said, "No" and then hid in the back room until he left- which, by the way, took an inordinate amount of time, especially considering he wasn't buying anything.

So, this is my qustion to the world: WHY ME???

Why is it that all the creepy and wierd people are attracted to me? Am I a wierdo magnet?? And the normal, intellegent, great guys (so few of them, I know, but they are out there)- well, do I repell them or something? None of them ever flirt with me. Just the wackos.

I mean, let's take an inventory of the people who have asked me out:

1. Convict. Doing community service.

2. OK, this one isn't bad. Actually, I was kinda sad to say no, but he wasn't a Christan and had no interest in becoming one. Anyway, he was a student going into the army.

3. Wierd person on the bus.

4. Creepy guy who remembered me from 2 months previously.

That is it. Where are all the normal people??

And now I'll be looking over my shoulder for the rest of the week. And every time I go to the mall where I bought that sandwhich.

Things about blogs

I have mentioned my love for sitemeter a few times in the past, but I am going to bring it up again.

One of the many neat features is that it tells you how people get to your site- many of whom have come through google. Someone once found me by looking up "browning hamburger in a microwave." Many, many, many people have found me by googling "Jen's needs."

Way back in October, in my Psch class, we did a silly little assignment on weetags. I completely made up my entire experiment, filled it with a bunch of balogna and got a good grade on it. Recently, someone googled "Weetags," found me, and asked me for help with their weetags assignment! Someone is using me as a reference! And it is all on a bunch of bull I made up in a twenty minute time period. Literally, I am spending more time on this post then I did on that assignment.

Life can be ironic.

Garlic Breath

I stayed healthy for a week while I was at camp. The moment I got home, I got another sore throat and cough (likely what Rebekah had while we were there), so for supper I have made myself hamburger cassarole with lots of onion and garlic in it. My breath is terrible, I am sure, but I can feel the tingle in my sinuses that tell me that it is working.

Camp was great- I tented with Jamie and Kelsey, plus went camping beforehand, so I slept on the ground for nine nights in a row. My bed last night was pure bliss.

Even though I was a little sore in the mornings, I highly recommend camping. Very few people use those showers, it is close and convienient, and you can stay up as late as you want, or go to bed early.

Locks hate me

Just as an odd little tidbit about me, locks hate me. My dad had had to replace the lock and/or doorknob on his door more times than I can count, all on account of me.

Well, today the curse struck again. At work today, I broke multiple locks. They all just fell apart in my hand!! So then I'd have to get pliers to reattatch them, and get my coworker to take a look at them.

So, what lesson do we learn from this? Jen should never become a locksmith.

Someone, give me something too do!!!

I am at work. However, since yesterday afternoon, no one has had anything for me to do. So I am hanging around, passing time. I'll give it a couple more hours, and then go home. I have mainly been keeping entertained on blogthings, but even that is starting to wear thin.

I hate being paid to do nothing. Why, oh why, didn't the manager leave me a list of stuff to do???

Likable Things and Good Qualities and Neat Quirks About Jen

• the way she tries to see the positive things in all situations- she looks for the silver linings.
• the way she puts those sayings in her language and the way she makes anolagies
• the way she puts other people's concerns before her own
• the way she likes to mentor people younger than herself
• the way she listens to other people's stories, even when she has stuff she wants to talk about
• her interesting sense of humor- somewhat ironic, sarcasic, and quirky
• the way she gets all the dirty jokes before anyone else
• the predictable mannerisms that are amusing
• the way she keeps on trying to be included, even when it ends up in failure and she gets hurt
• the way she can't hold a grudge
• the way she can help people cool down quickly when they are irate
• the way she helps people who are sad feel better and special
• the way she is tolerant of other people's shortcomings
• the way she tries to make other people feel included
• the way she can look hot without even bothering with makeup and jewellery
• the way she doesn't care when she doesn't look hot
• the way she can look hot while being modest
• the way she tries to not be a bother
• the way she attempts to not humiliaate herself, and yet at the same time doesn't mind making a fool of herself
• the way she can give good advice, even when it goes against what she would privately like
• the way she loves babies and kids and animals
• the way she is careful about the amount of physical attention happens with her
• the way she endeavors to use correct grammar on msn
• the way she is fast to volunteer to do things for others
• the way she sucks at sports
• the way she loves playgrounds
• the way she rarely gets mad
• the way she has 'jenisms'- toodles, thingamajiggerbob, ginormous...

Urguff

I am sick.

I woke up this morning unable to swallow cuz it hurt so bad, with a headache, lethargic, with gunk in my lungs, and alternately, a fever or chills.

Can I hibernate until this is over?

Quick Questionaire

1) What is the best line ever from a song?

Wow, this is so hard!! I love so many songs, and they all fled my head at this exact moment! (Plus, I am eating some cookies that Kelly and I made, and they are fabulous!) The only lyrics I can think of, which I really like, are "Butterfly girl, don't you know you're beautiful by now? Come out of hiding. Butterfly girl, it's time to spread your wings and show your colors to the world. Butterfly girl."

2) From a movie?

Wow this is even harder! (These cookies are amazing, you guys. Double chocolate chip.) I can't think of any. Can you give me suggestions?

3) What color underwear are you wearing right now?

I am wearing boring white Hanes Her Way underwear. The rest of me is more interesting though. I am also wearing jean, a pale green shirt, white an blue striped socks, and black slip on shoes. (I forgot my runners at the farm this weekend.)

4) What book is currently on your nightstand?

This is going to be a shocker, I know, but... there is no book on my nightstand. I just don't seem to have time to read or go to the library anymore.

5) Are you living up to your potential?

Is anybody? These cookies are, though.

6) I can't wait to....

Fall in love and get married.

7) Your major in college?

Social work.

8) Plans for this weekend?

My dad wants me to go home to the farm and help him with some roofing this weekend. There may also be a possibility of world waterpark.

Walking Things

I am never going to complain about heat ever again. (Wait. I take that back, as that would be a lie.) Anyways, irony hit my life in that as soon as I complained about the heat, I was sent to a store that I had to walk about 10 blocks to get to after I got off the bus. This, of course, is the time it decides to pour rain for three solid days. I was terrified of getting splashed by cars while walking. I also wore three jackets to keep the rain and cold away from me. Then, as soon as I am done at that store, it gets sunny and warm again.

Today, while walking (with only one really nice jacket), I got horn tooted at twice and whistled at once. I am unsure what to think of this. I mean, firstly, it is a compliment. Some people think I am pretty. Then, of course, it is an insult. I mean, I am a person, people, not an object. Then, I wonder why it is only strangers that think I am hot. I really would appreciate it if people would keep their rude compliments to themselves, to let me avoid all of this circular thinking.

Hot... so hot....

I am melting....

Ooops, I have negleted you all, haven't I?

Well, I am sorry it has been so long....

Yesterday, I started playing WoW- a computer game that lots of people are into around here. I have been doing really well- it is so much fun! Too much computer time, though.

Today my work made me do what seemed to be a treasure hunt to find out where I work next, so I finally gave up. Instead, I ran into and hung out with a friend of mine.

Countdown

10 random things you may not know about me:

• I bought a cute jacket yesterday at Army and Navy.
• I just quit one of my jobs.
• One of my toenails grows away from my toe, so that unless I want to snag my socks, I have almost no toenail.
• I am missing out on an Oilers game for this.
• I have fanatically watched Survivor all season.
• I love babies.
• I would love to have a ferret.
• I am a cheapskate.
• I think West Edmonton Mall isn't that big.
• I have a crooked arm.

9 places I've visited:

• Victoria, BC
• Cranbrook, BC
• Spokane, Washington (sort of)
• Jasper, AB
• North Battleford, SK
• Regina, SK
• Peace River, AB
• Prince Albert, SK
• Rosetown, SK

8 ways to win my heart:

• Appreciate my sense of humor.
• Be well rounded in conversation.
• Be a gentleman to everyone, not just for me, and especially not to everybody but me.
• Be intelligant.
• Cuddle.
• Smile more often than frown.
• Make me laugh.
• Show a genuine concern for others.

7 things I want to do before I die:

• Finish college.
• Fall in love and get married.
• Go on a crazy long road trip.
• Go overseas.
• Get a car.
• Have one of those fantastic granny's attic type things with hidden treasures.
• Take dancing lessons.

6 things I'm afraid of:

• Mice.
• Tickets.
• Balls. I mean the sports kind.
• Rejection.
• Being pushed onto the subway tracks.
• Making a public fool of myself.

5 things I don't like:

• Peppers.
• Olives.
• Chili's- terrible food, terrible service, and expensive.
• Chips.
• Diet anything.

4 ways to turn me off:

• Make fun of people on the fringes of a group.
• Being innapropriately affectionate with random people.
• Joking gay talk.
• Being rude.

3 things I do everyday:

• Eat.
• Sleep.
• Be merry.

2 things that make me happy:

• Ice cream.
• Animals. Oooh! Can I have anoother?? Babies.

1 thing on my mind right now:

• Belly gas.

Work gunk

Well, I got a call today, and tomorrow I start my new job at Source, as a merchandiser. I will be do glad to have a routine again- I have been spending too much time with me.

In other news, yesterday I forgot to attend a staff meeting for work (my little job), as well, my paperwork is late. As such, I spent the day screening my calls and only picked up when I recognized the number. So I missed, like, 3 calls on purpose, so hopefully none of them were imprortant. I just couldn't deal with any more yapping about the people in Accounting. So what if it causes them extra trouble? They screwed me over pretty bad, why can't I screw them over a little too? I mean, if I am not delaying my pay, what incentive is there to get my paperwork in on time? I really don't like that job.

I had a funny story about the kids at the Jewish school down the street, but it is also kinda depressing, so it isn't funny to me right now. Maybe I'll tell it later when I'm in a funny mood.