1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checques, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentances with "In accordance with the property."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a straight face.
11. Specify that your drive through order is to go.
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put misquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party because you aren't in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running for the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
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