Memeing off of Meghan

1. What does your name mean? Well, my keychain tells me that the name Jennifer means "fair". So apparently that means I am supposed to be blonde, according to that. Oh well... I like it.

2. Where was your default pic taken? Actually, I lack a default pic... I can't figure the whole thing out.

3. What's your middle name? It is Thadyne. Any other Thadynes out there? Feel free to make your presence known.

4. What is your current relationship status? Single. I am single like a Kraft Single all alone in an empty refrigerator.

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back? Which one? Most of the time, I think all of them are nos, and occasionally (very occasionally) I let myself hope that one of them might be a yes. Why don't the ones I like and the ones who like me ever match up? It has got to be the worst luck in the world.

6.What's your current mood? Pain, because my face hurts. Wisdom teeth are coming in, and I need to get my glasses adjusted.

7. What do you like the most? Warm spring days, road trips, slowly waking up in the morning, getting dressed up, and babies.

8. What makes you happy? Well, all of number seven, and I guess I'll add a few more... hmmm.... Getting an e-mail for no reason other than catching up, staying up all night talking, having debates about the stupidest things, like where stores should display canned tuna and why, and hugs.

9. Are you musically inclined? Well, I can sing, and I like listening to music, but I cannot operate an instrument. I admire people who can though.

10. If you could go back and change something, would you? Hmmm.... that's a toughie. I'd love to redo awkward conversations, or embarressing moments, or avoid myself a lot of heartache, or have gotten a different field placement, but would I be the same person if I'd avoid those lessons? I don't know.

11. If you MUST be an animal for one day, what would you be? I would be someone's pet ferret. They look like they are always having so much fun, and when they sleep, they look SO relaxed.

12. Ever had a near death experience? Actually, yes I have. I don't really remember a lot though, so I can't tell you if there was stars, or a tunnel, or anything.

13.Something you do a lot? I pretty much sit in front of my computer.

14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now? Actually, I am listening to a new CD, so it is Concerto in G by Antonio Vivaldi. It is off the Marie Antonette soundtrack.

15. Who did you copy and paste this from? Meghan.

16. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience? With groups, never alone.

17. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Pam, Michael (the only non-creepy person to ask me out- an army boy), Jacob (someone I knew from the community), and Bonnie (my old boss). Who knew April Fool's Day was so popular? Ha! I got four! I challange any of you to beat that!

18. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their shoulders. And if they are the right height so that if I hugged them, I could rest my head on his shoulder without getting a crick in my neck without putting my nose in his armpit.

19. What do you usually order from Starbucks? A pastry of some kind.

20. What is your favorite smell? Hamburger cooking. Oh! Except for this one cologne that Someone (can't say who) wears. I was at BP's and the server was wearing the same cologne, and even though he was old and ugly, I was still attracted to him because the cologne was the same as what this other person wears. Isn't that lame?

I should be out celebrating

So university students everywhere are all celebrating the end of term. All of the assignments and deadlines and responsibilities are out of the way until the New Year, and they can all settle down to family time, vacations in exotic places, and celebrating the holidays.

Not me. I still have an assignment to finish, and three more days of field placement to make up for some of the time I missed earlier in term. It actually feels like a bit of a letdown.

Year End Blog

I am stealing this idea from Bronwyn's blog. It is a year end meme- you post the first sentance that you blogged from each month of the year. So here we go...

January- Well, I am home again from Christmas and New Year's.

February- So, I was sitting in my Children and Adolescents class this morning, when it suddenly dawned on me with a gasp of horror that I have three assignments due in the next week and a half, and I haven't started on any of them.

March- So yesterday morning I woke up at 6:30 as usual, and got ready to go to school.

April- I had a lovely birthday.

May- Put your music player on shuffle.

June- I am melting...

July- I stayed healthy for a week while I was at camp.

August- I have a theme song!

September- Well, I just got back from a weekend retreat with my church, and I had so much fun!

October- So I am walking home today, talking to my sister on my cell phone.

November- So I was on the bus yesterday...

December- Here's the gist of this one.

Well, that looks boring.... :b

I am sick

Well, I got sick very suddenly. Yesterday, I was healthy. Today, I have a cough, achey muscles, am lethargic, can't get into a deep sleep, and I coughed so ard I gave myself a huge nosebleed.

I hate feeling nasty and weak like this.

Although good thing it is now, and ot at New Years.

But I still ate it.

150 Posts

This is my 150th post. For this momentous and auspicious occasion, I am going to include Jen's Life By Numbers, 2nd ed. I have also gone through all the 149 previous posts and added labels to them.

20- Jen's current age
4- Number of places I have lived
2- More essays to write this term
2- Finals left, both taking place Monday
5- Field placement days left until vacation
671- Number of songs on my computer
5- Number of universities I am applying for for next year
11- Number of pairs of shoes I own
3- Number of Diana Gabaldon books I own
125- The bus that I take everyday
10- Number of Friends seasons that I own
3- Number of phone numbers that I have had
0- Number of dates I have been on
1- Number of hockey games I have been to
6- Number of paid jobs I have had in my lifetime
3- Number of field placements I have held
10,000- Amount, in dollars, that I am in debt
9- Number of road trips in 2006
7- Number of pairs of glasses I have owned
13- Number of pairs of pants I own
3- Hour I plan to go to bed tonight
1- Recently developed allergy, to cats
45- Number of numbers stored in my cell phone
150- Number of blog posts

meming

Here's the gist of this one. Think of a word to describe each item on the list. Or some crap like that. Come on. I'm just looking for filler, really. It doesn't have to be smart.

Yourself: Jen
Your partner: partner? what partner?
Your hair: brown
Your Mother: I miss her...
Your Father: I miss him....
Your Favorite Item: ummm... based on the amount of time I spend with it, my computer
Your dream last night: I never remember my dreams
Your Favorite Drink: water, ice, no lemon
Your Dream Car: rust pt cruiser
Your Dream Home: has a wraparound porch
The Room You Are In: my living room- a couch, a few chairs, some bookshelves, and a couple computers
Your Ex: I have an ex? This is news...
Your fear: mice and being alone in life
Where you want to be in ten years? 30... married, maybe thinking about kids, a career
Who you hung out with last night: young people's and then my sister
What You're Not: snazzy or a hoot
Muffins: muffin cups
One of Your Wish List Items: sweaters and a hot water bottle (do you know how cold it has been lately?)
Time: slipping by
The Last Thing You Did: said "What?!"
What You Are Wearing: jeans, socks, t-shirt, and a sweater that says Montreal
Your favorite weather: spring. totally spring- May, early June... perfect!
Your Favorite Book: Diana Gabaldon books
Last thing you ate: a really super chocolatey brownie at 2nd cup
Your Life: clueless
Your mood: a little bit sleepy...
Your Best Friends: I have lots of friends, but I don't know if I have a best friend
What are you thinking about right now: my lack of a best friend (thank you to whoever wrote this)
Your car: wishing I had one
What are you doing at the moment: MSNing (is that a verb) and doing this?
Your summer: lots of fun
Relationship status: single. Very single. So single it is sickening
What is on your TV: it is off
What is the weather like: really cold, but warmer than a couple days ago
When is the last time you laughed: At 2nd cup, just over an hour ago

Two Discoveries and a Confirmation Today

Discovery #1:

I hate groups. It does not matter whether or not I am facilitating, whether or not I am being watched, or whether or not I am merely a participant. I hate them. They make me feel vulnerable, insecure, and incompetant.

Discovery #2:

My computer is acting up- it won't let me open anything up on Word. My poor, expensive baby... :( What is wrong with you?

Confirmation:

I hate crowds. I get lost in them, and nothing meaningful is ever said, and I feel as though I get ignored in them.

Conclusion:

Either I am PMSing, or I am bummed out.

People are so nice

So, I had to arrive to my field placement a little early today because of the bus schedule. Since McDonald's is just around the corner from the office, I decided to wait there until the time was a little closer so that there would not be those awkward silences, y'know.

Anyway, I was wearing a couple jackets, cuz it is cold out, and had my backpack, and was just sitting there. The this nice middle aged lady came up and offered to buy me hot chocolate or something! Now, I realize that she thought I was, like, homeless, but that's ok... I was all bundled up after all. So I decided to be thankful for the nice people in the world.

Of course, I said no, and explained what I was up to. Don't want y'all to think that I take advantage of the niceness of people.

I am resisting change

So my big question of the day is this: Why does blogger want me to change over to the new version so badly? They now have a huge ad taking up most of the space on my dashboard, telling me to CHANGE!

I just wish they'd tell me what I'll get out of it.

So the lady thought I was crazy

So I was on the bus yesterday...

Hmmm... it seems like most of my stories start out that way.

Anyways, I was on the bus, and there were lots of empty seats open. We stopped at this one bus stop, and these four sweet looking elderly ladies got on the bus. I assumed they were friends.

Apparently not, as the first one sat next to me and her another sat in front of her (instead of together), and the other ladies spread out as well.

Well, apparently the two near me were friends, cuz they leaned over the seats and talked to each other for the whole trip. I thought this was wierd.

Anyways, we are drawing close to where I get off. I was supposed to meet someone, and I thought I was running late. So I got out my cell phone to check, and tada! I was right on time. Those of you who know me know that I often talk to yself, so I said (very quietly) "Oh! I'm not late!"

Then the old lady next to me pauses in her conversation, turns and looks at me and says:

"Oh, you've lost it."

NOW Group Facilitation Scares the Beejeebers Outta Me!

So, today in my Group Work class, there was six of us who did a role play. We had made a proposal for a psychoeducational group for teenaged girls to talk about self-esteem. All we had to do was the initial stage, which was fairly easy (or so we thought) because a lot of what you have to talk about is already frameworked for you.

So I made up eight profiles on fairly realistic teenaged girls- there were all different types of girls, but most women would be able to connect with several of them. Then another girl and I facilitated while classmates were the members.

Well, okeedina!!!!

I did not think my classmates would be so difficult! The horrible thing was that all of them stayed within their roles perfectly- but the conflict! There was conflict over showing emotion! There was conflict over how some had lots of friends and some didn't! There was even name calling!

And they moved so fast! You could not deal with one conflict, and try to relate it back to group process and the topic at hand, before there was another, and another, and another! It was like, which fire do I put out first? Or do I ignore the fires, and slog on with my agenda?

Then, to really botch it up, I chose dealing with the fires, and my cofacilitator chose slogging on with the agenda! It was a mess!! At the end of the group, none of the participants felt good about the group- and it was just a role play!!!!

Well, let me tell you, when it comes time for their role plays, I am going to be one of THE MOST challenging participants EVER!!!

So, what was supposed to be an excersise in feeling good about groups ended up scaring me to death.

By the way, I am sorry that only May-B really understood what I was talking about. :)

Book Meme

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post it on your blog, along with these instructions
5. Don't go running and finding something "cool" or "intellectual"! Really the closest book!

OK... well, nearest book does not have 123 pages... let's go with the next nearest book....

This is from "Social Welfare in Canada" by Steven Hick:

"This increase in divorce rate has, in turn, contributed to the changes in family stuctures."

I'm sorry! It was a textbook! I don't read it for fun!

Memeing- I really love it too much

Do you snore? Very, very rarely. Usually only when I am sick. I have a roommate, so she would tell me if I did. Anyway, the guy in the apartment below us snores enough for everyone in our building. Like, we hear him through the floor every night.

Are you a lover or a fighter? I am a lover until I blow my top. It happens very rarely, but when it does, watch out!

What is your worst fear? I am also going with phobia, and that would have to definately be mice. You know that high pitched, long, drawn-out girly scream on horror movies? The one that nearly cracks your eardrums? That is e when I see a mouse.

As a kid, were you a lego maniac? Hmm.... I had them, and I enjoyed them, but I was actually a dress-up maniac.

What do you think about reality tv? I am mixed about it- I really think it is horribly unethical, so I try to avoid watching it- but if I start- even if I only see one episode- I'm hooked.

Were you a cute baby? Yes. I had this adorable curly blonde hair. I wish I had it back... it was the best blonde hair ever.

Is the single life for you? Don't think about it!! I really hope it isn't. Really, really, really hope it isn't.

Do you sing in the shower? Very occasionally. Not often though.

Any secret talents? If I do, they are a secret from even me.

What is your ideal vacation? Right now, I would be happy anywhere (Calgary this weekend- yay!) but ideally, a summer off to go camp hopping and crazy roadtrips to wierd places in the middle.

Can you swim? No. In fact, I am one of the few pwople I know who failed the yellow swimming lesson three times.

Can you sing the alphabet backwards? No. I can, however, say it backwards, very slowly, with lots of pauses to think.

What are you addicted to? My computer, Friends, ice-cream, and cheese.

Crunchy or creamy peanut butter? Creamy, definately. What is the point of it if it doesn't spread?

What is the most annoying TV commercial? That one that advertises Calcium supplements, and had archetcture turning into bones. It is too wierd, and is on way too often.

What is the most clever tv commercial? Way back when Telus first started their animals on a white background themed commercials, there were some awesome ones. I've forgotten what they are though, it was several years ago.

Favorite song at the moment? I think it is by Kelly Clarkson- I don't know what it is called, but it is about how she trashed her boyfriend's car when he cheated on her.

Switch

Well, I made my decision. I am going to switch my field placement. I went back today to tell my supervisor of my decision, and to say goodbye to the few people that were nice to me there, and to take my learning contract back. No way was I leaving it with them.

I did get a confirmation that I was making the right decision, though. My supervisor could not even keep it confidential that I was considering leaving! Like, how awkward would it have been if I had decided to stay! I mean, for those of you who don't know, confidentiality is/ought to be one of the pillars of social work. So I was disappointed in my supervisor again before I left though.

Anyway, no more looking back. That is in the past, an unfortunate experience, but I got closure today, so it isn't going to bother me anymore. I'll have a few days off, and then I will be set up with a new, hopefully exciting, field placement, where I'll have a supervisor I see once in a while, and where I am not merely a go-for.

Meme

1. Comfort beverage: Hmmm... It depends on my mood.... but orange juice with pulp is fantastic, as it is becoming more and more rare to find these days. There is nothing wrong with pulp, people!!

2. Comfort chair: My parents bought this huge, overstuffed Lazeboy recliner, and I love it. I could stay in it all day.

3. Comfort book: Harry Potter- it is funny in parts, fairly simple to read, and I know it so well, it is like coming back to an old friend. Pus, Ron and the twins are just SO funny.

4. Comfort television/DVD/music- Comfort television is definately Friends. I own all 10 seasons on DVD, and I always plug it in whenever I get into a funk. Comfort DVD (which I will take to mean movie) is likely A Walk To Remember, or even any other romantic comedy. I am a gonner for sap. Ooh! Or any Pirates move- I mean, mmm, Captain Jack Sparrow. Oh, but then there is also The Mask of Zorro- I mean, that dancing!!!! It is incredible. Plus, some good boy-watching in there too. Comfort music... I made up 2 CDs of all country songs, or romantic ballads that I love. I used those today.

5. Comfort companions- Quite honestly, almost anyone will do. As long as I am not alone, I feel better. Today, my neighbor Andrea, her 4 year old son (cutest child ever), Rebekah, and Grant were mine.

Later...

Well, I am still unhugged, but at least I am coherant, which is an improvement. I talked it all out with one of my teachers, and feel much better.

I could use some prayer though. I have a decison to make this weekend about whether or not I want to keep my field placement, or switch.

(I had to add a title, cuz it looked stupid)

I really need a hug right now.

I met him!

Remeber that awesome crazy guy on the bus? The one in the crazy out fit with the beads on his boots? Well, I met him today!

So I was on the bus, like I always am, and it suddenly dawns on me that the old man next to me is that guy! So, I immediately started memorizing his outfit:

• Blue long sleeved button up shirt, with the same Hawiian shirt as last time over top, and for added warmth, a woolen vest over top of that.
• Track pants- they were Adidas- and your know that white stripe? Well, he had added red dots all the way down the stripe.
• Cowboy boots, with the beads missing :(
• A cowboy hat like Greg's (with a picture of George Canyon on the inside- he showed me) and sunglasses
• And then the best part- a grey western looking belt over top of his multiple shirts, with chains haning off of it!

Then he started distributing newspaper articles to everyone in reach, because there was an article in their about him! It made my day! Apparently, every summer he decorates a bike- and I mean crazy decorate- there was a picture of him with his bike, and you could barely see the bike. I'm gonna quote a bit of the article:

"When you look at Peter S's decorated 1954 CCM Glider five-speed bicycle, you can visualize it as a flat in a parade. The bike, which the 76 year old has owned since he was 17, is a colorful, entertaining work of art. Peter himself adds to the picture. A born entertainer, he loves to get all dressed up in his self designed, tailored western outfit, in which he looks like a modern day Roy Rogers."

It was an excellent bus ride.

Last Night

So, I had a paper due this morning (a proposal for group work), that I had not started yesterday. I planned to start it when I got home from school.

So I came home from school and rewatched the best parts of The Lake House which I had rented. Then I had supper, and headed to prayer meeting. It was then 9 PM, so I headed home and started it.

It was going along great, and then my friend from Manitoba that used to live in Edmonton dropped by. So we (Rebekah and I- she had a lot of schoolwork too) visited with him for a while. Then we did, like, another 10 minutes of work, until we decided to be impulsive and crazy and just go cruising.

So we drove around, listening to music, eating, chatting, and we found this spot with an awesome view downtown- at the Shaw Conference Center, looking over the ledge of the hill/roof.

So then we got home after midnight, and finished our homework. I got up at 6 to go to school.

It was so worth it.

This must only happen to me...

So I am waking home today, talking to my sister on my cell phone. I am carrying a wicker shoulder bag over my shoulder (kinda like a beach bag, y'know? I got it from Jysk.) Anyway, the pants I was wearing have a zipper to shut the back pocket.

Can you guess what happened? That is right. The zipper somehow got stuck into the bag. So my bag was stuck to my butt.

I still haven't figured out how to fix it. To get the bag off my butt, I had to take my pants off.

Why me?

Why can't I do what I am supposed to do?

So on the very first day of school I was told about this assignment that I am supposed to be working on. It is a simple four page book review. I was finished the book within tow days of finding out about the project. The name of the book is Case Critical: Social Services and Social Justice in Canada by Ben Carniol. It was a really good book, good to get debate going; Ralph Klein would hate it.

So why can't I write about it? I have tried for the last four days, and can barely do anything. While trying to still be useful, I have developed an idea and done research for a reesearch paper for the same class (not due for a long time- but I love my idea- I'll be writing on special interest groups and lobbyists, and how they work, and how to best manipulate them). I also wrote an outline for a purposal I am supposed to write for group work- on a theoretical group that we want to run (mine is for teen girls with low self confidence).

But why can't I work on what I am actually supposed to do???

A Day Off

Well, today I had an exceptionally rare day off of school. My field placement supervisor was not going to be there, and as I am still unoriented to everything, I got a day off. So, this is what I accomplished off of my to do list:

• Check out the new thrift store just down the street
• Go to the bank
• Go to the library
• Go grocery shopping
• Clean out my fridge. (It really needed doing. I started will a full fridge and ended with a mostly empty fridge.)
• Take out trash.
• Do dishes.
• Do some computer stuff.
• Thaw some hamburger. (Well, I am still doing it. I am hoping to make a nice supper.)
• Catch up on WebCT

Things I did not accomplish:

• Reading, Reading, Reading!!!!!! (For school. I am perfectly capable on keeping up on pleasure reading.)
• Get my thoughts together for my social policy paper
• Research stuff for placement (that may still get done)

It was a rather nice, abiet chilly, day, spent chiefly in my own company.

Oh, but I did meet the nicest old man in the Safeway today. I had the hiccups, so I fished out some juice, bent over, and drank it upside down. (Only thing that works. May-B suggested it when I was staying at her house for QoWP's wedding. What can I say? It was loud, and silencing the thirty or so of us at BPs. And giving us (me at least) a headache. I have been thankful for the idea ever since. Even if it makes me look stupid in public.)

Anyway, so this nice old man stopped me for a discourse on hiccups. This poor man had had hiccups since 1984!!! That is longer than I have been alive! Anyway, just last month, he had finally found a cure, and is now enjoying life again. He had been to doctors, who said that hiccups is a sign of acid reflex (odd, but OK), had spent a bunch of money, and changed his diet a bunch, and had been on a bunch of different medications, but he finally found a herbal remedy- some sort of aloe vera drink. He was so happy about it- I would be too. Imagine having loud, embarressing hiccups for twenty-two years.

I would have turned into a hermit.

Memeing

3 things that scare me are:

• mice, very definately mice
• being pulled over by the cops
• riding with someone who makes poor passing decisions

3 people that make you laugh:

• Ky
• Kelly
• Bronwyn

3 things that you hate the most?

• Bullies
• Large crowds
• cramps

3 things I don't understand:

• How individuals can have great ideas, but collectively, their ideas suck
• How computers work
• Boys (lol)

3 things I am doing right now:

• blogging
• watching Harry Potter 4
• eating Chunks Ahoy cookies

3 things I want to do before I die:

• Learn to ballroom dance
• Fall in love
• Take the trip of a lifetime to somewhere amazing

3 things I can do:

• Ride a horse (after a sort)
• Write exams
• Spend money

3 things to describe my personality:

• Reserved until you get to know her
• then crazy and quirky
• and caring and compassionate

3 things I can't do:

• Swim (failed the first swimming lesson 3 times)
• Do hair
• Run not like a girl

3 things I think you should listen to:

• Your parents
• any Martina McBride song
• any Paul Brandt

3 things you should never listen to:

• Anyone who says you'll fail
• Anyone who says you are no good
• Anyone who says you are ugly

3 things I'd like to learn:

• Ballroom dancing
• Assessment and Intervention Stategies
• More self reflection

3 favorite foods:

• Lasanga (meat, cheese, pasta- what else does anything need?)
• chocolate
• beef stroganof

3 beverages I drink regularly:

• water
• milk
• juice

3 shows I watched as a kid:

• Prince of BelAir
• Mr Dressup
• The Nanny

3 things I have on my desk:

• Empty Chunks Ahoy container
• fauculty list
• mini globe and pencil sharpener

3 things I am grateful for:

• Jesus
• Being in the social work program
• My apartment and roommate

Camp Stories

Well, I just got back from a weekend retreat with my church, and I had so much fun! I:

• Participated in a pillowfight! It was wild and crazy fun! It was on my list of things to do before I die, so I can cross it off now
• Rode in the back of a truck with many other people- it hurt SO much to brush my hair afterwards!
• Had a short dancing lesson, which reaffirmed what I already knew- I want to learn how to ballroom dance!
• Watched people jump off a bridge into a river- I can't swim, so didn't do it myself, but watching was so very much fun.
• Twirled around a broom in circles, and then promptly fell over when I tried to walk.
• Shrieked at a lot of wasps.
• Stayed up to the wee hours of the morning talking with a lot of really awesome girls.
• Played the telephone game at banquet.
• Got the giggles innumerable times.
• Freaked out a bunch of jr. high girls with a game we play every year.
• And almost accidentally slept in the boys dorm.

Oh, that last one got your interest?

Well, we didn't get there until after 1AM, by which time everyone was already in bed. So, we went to the cabin to see if there was any spots left where the older girls usually stay. We were very disappointed to see that there wasn't, so we left, and slept in the garage with the younger girls.

In the morning, at breakfast, I overhear one of the guys mention that THEY were in the cabin.

I promptly got a fit of the giggles, as did all of us girls who checked out the cabin.

Imagine this scenerio:

Say there was room in there for us. All those boys were OUT (fyi, the girls were up and talking for hours after that). We would have just crawled in, changed into pj's, shoved some people in sleeping bags over, crawled in between a few people, and gone to sleep. The next morning, we would have woken up, and realized that we were surrounded by boys... they would have realized that they were surrounded by girls... It would be painfully awkward for the next 10 minutes, while we grabbed our stuff and hopped out of there in our sleeping bags... Then we would have laughed about it for the rest of camp. It would have been a story told for generations... about how the boys and girls accidentally slept together.

Another odd incident, and my thoughts on this pattern

Check out this conversation:

I am at work. I see a man wave me over, so I go over:

Jen: Hi, is there anything I can help you with?

CrazyGuy (we'll call him CG): I am sorry to bother you at work, but I was walking by, and couldn't help but notice and tell you that you are absolutely beautiful.

Jen (a little taken back, but not shocked, too many crazy people have hit on her this summer): Thank you for the compliment.

CG: I would really love to visit and get to know you better.

Jen: I can't do that, but I thank you for the compliment and the bravery it must have taken to come talk to me. (I was trying out that thing from Hitch.)

CG: Well, even if I gave you my number, and you could call me and we could get together?

Jen: Fine. (thinking taking it and pitching it was easier than refusing)

CG: This is the number I am staying at right now, and the this number here is just voice mail, I have no fixed address right now.

Jen: OK.

CG: I look forward to seeing you.

Jen: Thank you for the compliment. Bye.

So then I promptly went to the back room and pitched his number, and hid out for a while.

I have learned something this summer. Apparently I am an attractive girl. Too bad the only people who think this are strangers, and thus, only ask me out because they like my body. I don't appreciate that attention, because I know that they don't like my mind or my spirit, but just my body. And I won't let myself be used like that.

But the opening line on this crazy guy (he really was crazy, not all his marbles were there) would have absolutely melted me if it had been a guy I knew and trusted saying it. Absolutely melted.

The Theme Song

I have a theme song!

Inspired by May-B's question, I gave it lots of thought, and rejected many songs, until I finally hit it:

"Happy Girl" by Martina McBride. Do you guys know it?

I used to live in a darkened room
Had a face of stone
And a heart of gloom
Lost my hope, I was so far gone
Cryin' all my tears
With the curtains drawn
I didn't know until my soul broke free
I've got these angels watching over me

Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world
Is a happy girl

I used to hide in a party crowd
Bottled up inside
Feeling so left out
Standing in a corner wearing concrete shoes
With my frozen smile
And my lighted fuse
Now every time I start to feel like that
I roll my heart out like a welcome mat

Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide worldIs a happy girl

Laugh when I feel like it
Cry when I feel like it
That's just how my life is
That's how it goes
Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl

And I've come to know
That the world won't change
Just 'cause I complain
Let the axis twirl
I'm a happy girl

Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world
Is a happy girl
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
I'm a happy girl

Sitemeter again

Someone found my blog by looking up "Hanes you can't over love your underwear lyrics"

How great is that?

Creepy Story of the Day

So, two months ago I bought a really good steak sandwich in the food court at the mall.

Today, this simpleminded man about my mom's age comes into my store in a different mall. He remembered me from when I bought that stupid sandwich from him!! Two months ago! Isn't that wierd? And if that isn't enough, he promptly hits on me and asked me out!

So what was my response? I said, "No" and then hid in the back room until he left- which, by the way, took an inordinate amount of time, especially considering he wasn't buying anything.

So, this is my qustion to the world: WHY ME???

Why is it that all the creepy and wierd people are attracted to me? Am I a wierdo magnet?? And the normal, intellegent, great guys (so few of them, I know, but they are out there)- well, do I repell them or something? None of them ever flirt with me. Just the wackos.

I mean, let's take an inventory of the people who have asked me out:

1. Convict. Doing community service.

2. OK, this one isn't bad. Actually, I was kinda sad to say no, but he wasn't a Christan and had no interest in becoming one. Anyway, he was a student going into the army.

3. Wierd person on the bus.

4. Creepy guy who remembered me from 2 months previously.

That is it. Where are all the normal people??

And now I'll be looking over my shoulder for the rest of the week. And every time I go to the mall where I bought that sandwhich.

Things about blogs

I have mentioned my love for sitemeter a few times in the past, but I am going to bring it up again.

One of the many neat features is that it tells you how people get to your site- many of whom have come through google. Someone once found me by looking up "browning hamburger in a microwave." Many, many, many people have found me by googling "Jen's needs."

Way back in October, in my Psch class, we did a silly little assignment on weetags. I completely made up my entire experiment, filled it with a bunch of balogna and got a good grade on it. Recently, someone googled "Weetags," found me, and asked me for help with their weetags assignment! Someone is using me as a reference! And it is all on a bunch of bull I made up in a twenty minute time period. Literally, I am spending more time on this post then I did on that assignment.

Life can be ironic.

Garlic Breath

I stayed healthy for a week while I was at camp. The moment I got home, I got another sore throat and cough (likely what Rebekah had while we were there), so for supper I have made myself hamburger cassarole with lots of onion and garlic in it. My breath is terrible, I am sure, but I can feel the tingle in my sinuses that tell me that it is working.

Camp was great- I tented with Jamie and Kelsey, plus went camping beforehand, so I slept on the ground for nine nights in a row. My bed last night was pure bliss.

Even though I was a little sore in the mornings, I highly recommend camping. Very few people use those showers, it is close and convienient, and you can stay up as late as you want, or go to bed early.

Locks hate me

Just as an odd little tidbit about me, locks hate me. My dad had had to replace the lock and/or doorknob on his door more times than I can count, all on account of me.

Well, today the curse struck again. At work today, I broke multiple locks. They all just fell apart in my hand!! So then I'd have to get pliers to reattatch them, and get my coworker to take a look at them.

So, what lesson do we learn from this? Jen should never become a locksmith.

Someone, give me something too do!!!

I am at work. However, since yesterday afternoon, no one has had anything for me to do. So I am hanging around, passing time. I'll give it a couple more hours, and then go home. I have mainly been keeping entertained on blogthings, but even that is starting to wear thin.

I hate being paid to do nothing. Why, oh why, didn't the manager leave me a list of stuff to do???

Likable Things and Good Qualities and Neat Quirks About Jen

• the way she tries to see the positive things in all situations- she looks for the silver linings.
• the way she puts those sayings in her language and the way she makes anolagies
• the way she puts other people's concerns before her own
• the way she likes to mentor people younger than herself
• the way she listens to other people's stories, even when she has stuff she wants to talk about
• her interesting sense of humor- somewhat ironic, sarcasic, and quirky
• the way she gets all the dirty jokes before anyone else
• the predictable mannerisms that are amusing
• the way she keeps on trying to be included, even when it ends up in failure and she gets hurt
• the way she can't hold a grudge
• the way she can help people cool down quickly when they are irate
• the way she helps people who are sad feel better and special
• the way she is tolerant of other people's shortcomings
• the way she tries to make other people feel included
• the way she can look hot without even bothering with makeup and jewellery
• the way she doesn't care when she doesn't look hot
• the way she can look hot while being modest
• the way she tries to not be a bother
• the way she attempts to not humiliaate herself, and yet at the same time doesn't mind making a fool of herself
• the way she can give good advice, even when it goes against what she would privately like
• the way she loves babies and kids and animals
• the way she is careful about the amount of physical attention happens with her
• the way she endeavors to use correct grammar on msn
• the way she is fast to volunteer to do things for others
• the way she sucks at sports
• the way she loves playgrounds
• the way she rarely gets mad
• the way she has 'jenisms'- toodles, thingamajiggerbob, ginormous...

Urguff

I am sick.

I woke up this morning unable to swallow cuz it hurt so bad, with a headache, lethargic, with gunk in my lungs, and alternately, a fever or chills.

Can I hibernate until this is over?

Quick Questionaire

1) What is the best line ever from a song?

Wow, this is so hard!! I love so many songs, and they all fled my head at this exact moment! (Plus, I am eating some cookies that Kelly and I made, and they are fabulous!) The only lyrics I can think of, which I really like, are "Butterfly girl, don't you know you're beautiful by now? Come out of hiding. Butterfly girl, it's time to spread your wings and show your colors to the world. Butterfly girl."

2) From a movie?

Wow this is even harder! (These cookies are amazing, you guys. Double chocolate chip.) I can't think of any. Can you give me suggestions?

3) What color underwear are you wearing right now?

I am wearing boring white Hanes Her Way underwear. The rest of me is more interesting though. I am also wearing jean, a pale green shirt, white an blue striped socks, and black slip on shoes. (I forgot my runners at the farm this weekend.)

4) What book is currently on your nightstand?

This is going to be a shocker, I know, but... there is no book on my nightstand. I just don't seem to have time to read or go to the library anymore.

5) Are you living up to your potential?

Is anybody? These cookies are, though.

6) I can't wait to....

Fall in love and get married.

7) Your major in college?

Social work.

8) Plans for this weekend?

My dad wants me to go home to the farm and help him with some roofing this weekend. There may also be a possibility of world waterpark.

Walking Things

I am never going to complain about heat ever again. (Wait. I take that back, as that would be a lie.) Anyways, irony hit my life in that as soon as I complained about the heat, I was sent to a store that I had to walk about 10 blocks to get to after I got off the bus. This, of course, is the time it decides to pour rain for three solid days. I was terrified of getting splashed by cars while walking. I also wore three jackets to keep the rain and cold away from me. Then, as soon as I am done at that store, it gets sunny and warm again.

Today, while walking (with only one really nice jacket), I got horn tooted at twice and whistled at once. I am unsure what to think of this. I mean, firstly, it is a compliment. Some people think I am pretty. Then, of course, it is an insult. I mean, I am a person, people, not an object. Then, I wonder why it is only strangers that think I am hot. I really would appreciate it if people would keep their rude compliments to themselves, to let me avoid all of this circular thinking.

Hot... so hot....

I am melting....

Ooops, I have negleted you all, haven't I?

Well, I am sorry it has been so long....

Yesterday, I started playing WoW- a computer game that lots of people are into around here. I have been doing really well- it is so much fun! Too much computer time, though.

Today my work made me do what seemed to be a treasure hunt to find out where I work next, so I finally gave up. Instead, I ran into and hung out with a friend of mine.

Countdown

10 random things you may not know about me:

• I bought a cute jacket yesterday at Army and Navy.
• I just quit one of my jobs.
• One of my toenails grows away from my toe, so that unless I want to snag my socks, I have almost no toenail.
• I am missing out on an Oilers game for this.
• I have fanatically watched Survivor all season.
• I love babies.
• I would love to have a ferret.
• I am a cheapskate.
• I think West Edmonton Mall isn't that big.
• I have a crooked arm.

9 places I've visited:

• Victoria, BC
• Cranbrook, BC
• Spokane, Washington (sort of)
• Jasper, AB
• North Battleford, SK
• Regina, SK
• Peace River, AB
• Prince Albert, SK
• Rosetown, SK

8 ways to win my heart:

• Appreciate my sense of humor.
• Be well rounded in conversation.
• Be a gentleman to everyone, not just for me, and especially not to everybody but me.
• Be intelligant.
• Cuddle.
• Smile more often than frown.
• Make me laugh.
• Show a genuine concern for others.

7 things I want to do before I die:

• Finish college.
• Fall in love and get married.
• Go on a crazy long road trip.
• Go overseas.
• Get a car.
• Have one of those fantastic granny's attic type things with hidden treasures.
• Take dancing lessons.

6 things I'm afraid of:

• Mice.
• Tickets.
• Balls. I mean the sports kind.
• Rejection.
• Being pushed onto the subway tracks.
• Making a public fool of myself.

5 things I don't like:

• Peppers.
• Olives.
• Chili's- terrible food, terrible service, and expensive.
• Chips.
• Diet anything.

4 ways to turn me off:

• Make fun of people on the fringes of a group.
• Being innapropriately affectionate with random people.
• Joking gay talk.
• Being rude.

3 things I do everyday:

• Eat.
• Sleep.
• Be merry.

2 things that make me happy:

• Ice cream.
• Animals. Oooh! Can I have anoother?? Babies.

1 thing on my mind right now:

• Belly gas.

Work gunk

Well, I got a call today, and tomorrow I start my new job at Source, as a merchandiser. I will be do glad to have a routine again- I have been spending too much time with me.

In other news, yesterday I forgot to attend a staff meeting for work (my little job), as well, my paperwork is late. As such, I spent the day screening my calls and only picked up when I recognized the number. So I missed, like, 3 calls on purpose, so hopefully none of them were imprortant. I just couldn't deal with any more yapping about the people in Accounting. So what if it causes them extra trouble? They screwed me over pretty bad, why can't I screw them over a little too? I mean, if I am not delaying my pay, what incentive is there to get my paperwork in on time? I really don't like that job.

I had a funny story about the kids at the Jewish school down the street, but it is also kinda depressing, so it isn't funny to me right now. Maybe I'll tell it later when I'm in a funny mood.

All nighter

So I am pulling an all nighter.

Why? You may ask.

No particular reason. I've only done it a couple times, and they both had reasons- once for grad, and then on my jaunt out to Victoria last year, 2/3 nights were all nighters. That was tiring.

So I figure I'll stay up for another hour, and go to bed at 6. After all, none of my plans for tomorrow have any specific times on them. They can all be done in the afternoon.

Oh! And I finally got myself a job today. I mean yesterday. Whatever. I will be a merchandiser at the Source by Circuit City. Theyare the people that do price tags and make sure everything is neat and tidy. A little boring, but it pays a whole lot better than a sales rep, so I am happy.

I LOVE Sitemeter!

Wow! Now that I have figured it out, Sitemeter is cool! Most of the stuff makes sense, and I am definately encouraged that people are reading my blog, and that I am not blogging to emptiness.

I only have one question. I can't figure out who is reading my blog from Prince George. Can you please say hi?

Anyone else who "lurks," you are welcome to say hi!

:)

I have bolded the best ones

Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog. Comment back if you post it on your site.

Will I get far in life?Benifit of a Doubt- Chris Cummings

How do my friends see me?Better Days- Robbie Seay

Where will I get married?That's What She Gets For Lovin Me- Brooks and Dunn

What is my best friend’s theme song?To Him Who Sits On The Throne- Debbye Graafsma

What is the story of my life?Party Preperations- from Chocolate

What was high school like?Cry For Love- Michael W. Smith

How can I get ahead in life?Gravity- Shawn MacDonald

What is the best thing about me?Blessed Be Your Name- Tree63

How is today going to be?You are my King- Newsboys

What is in store for this weekend?Draw Me Close- Kelly Carpenter

What song describes my parents?Too Lost in You- Sugababes

My grandparents?How Beautiful- Twila Paris

How is my life going?Right Here- Jeremy Camp

What song will they play at my funeral?I Couldn't Leave You If I Tried- Rodney Crowell

How does the world see me?Better Things To Do- Terri Clark

Will I have a happy life?Breathe- Michael W Smith

What do my friends really think of me?Atmosphere- dc Talk

Do people secretly lust after me?Lovin Each Day- Ronan Keating

How can I make myself happy?This is Love- Jonathan Butler

What should I do with my life?Man To Man- Gary Allan

Will I ever have children?Backroads- Ricky Van Shelton

What is some good advice?Running Back To You- Emerson Drive

What is my signature dancing song?Take Me As I Am- Sharissa

What do I think my current theme song is?If You Believe- Rachael Lampa

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?Come Just As You Are- Joseph Sabolick

What type of men/women do I like?Splash of the Paddle- Dan Gibson

Sometimes, I can be lame...

The most exciting thing in my life lately has been a Friends marathon and a Spider Solitaire tournament.

By myself.

Just a couple completely unrelated things....

Well, I am attempting to work on a Bible study that I am supposed to give at May Long. I got sidetracked by all the shmancy stuff you can do in Power Point, though. It is so cool!

But I am still making steady progress on the Bible study, don't worry.

Then, I have a question for all you Sitemeter people: How do I tell who googled me and everything? And where people live? I signed up and all it tells me is how many people visit my blog.

Speaking of which, I appear to have more people than I realized. Unless people are simply compulsively checking my blog. So, umm... hi everyone!! Do I know you all? Or do strangers think I am witty? I didn't think I was as witty to interest people I don't know....

I got it!!!

Well, OK, it isn't a job. But it is infinately more exciting.

So today I was browsing a boutique on White Avenue with my client and I got a phone call from one of the instructors.

I got the field placement I wanted! It is at (an anomynous) high school, basically as a guidance and career counsellor. I am so super excited. It was my absolute number one choice, and I got it.
Too bad I have to wait four months to start....

Edit, Months later: Too bad it sucked.

School's Out For Summer

I have been singing that song since I got home earlier today. It was very enjoyable. A great deal of stress is off of my mind. Now I just have to go about finding a job....

I have two interviews tomorrow- on at The Gap and the other at PJs Pets. I turned down a job at Bryan's today. I just felt like it was a place where I would not be comfortable, and that it wouldn't be good for my self esteem. Tomorrow I also have my first session with my personal trainer at the gym. Today I also worked on May Long stuff. If you are reading this and have not registered for May Long yet, e-mail me and let me know what your plans are for it!!!

So even though I am out of school, I am not completely useless. Just poor.

I cannot resist these things...

Well, OK, that is not quite true. I resisted the yummy famous boy one, but that is simply cuz I don't have crushes on enough yummy famous boys to fill it up.

My name is: Jen
I may seem: cold and reserved
People who know me think: that I am funny and slightly insane (in a good way, of course)
If you knew me you’d probably: also be slightly insane
My days are pretty: mediocore- hectic and dull at the same time. It is punctuatesd by long naps on the bus.
Yesterday: was Tuesday. What did I do? Oh, yes, I went to West Ed after practicum, and then walked.
In the morning I: Get up. Which bites.
I like to sleep: on the bus
If I could be doing anything right now I would be: dressed to kill, flirting with a boy. But since that is unlikely to happen, I'll settle for blogging.
Money: Would be nice to have some...
One thing I don’t have that I wish I did is: artistic talent
One thing I have that I wish I didn’t is: a zit.
All you need is: love. love. love.....
All I need is: for all these responsibilities to be over.
If I had one wish it would be: to... ummm... I know what I'd like to wish for, but that would be bad for me... let's say... contentment. or to have someone come over and invite me over to hang out. My door is open, people!!
If I could see one person right now it would be: I really don't know.
Something I want but I don’t really need is: a boyfriend
I live for: Is there really a right answer to this question?
I am afraid of: mice
It makes me angry when: people pick on others who are more vulnerable than them
I dream about: I don't remember
I daydream about: utopias- not world peace- personal utopias.

Best Fashion Statement Ever

Today on the bus I saw the best old man ever. He was wearing:

• A ladies leapord print hat
• Athletic looking sunglasses
• A Hawaiin print shirt
• Sporty looking track pants
• Cowboy boots
• And the clincher: Around each boot he had tied a string. Dangling from the strings was bunches and bunches of ladies beaded necklaces, so they jangled when he walked!

It was priceless. I wish I'd had a camera. If I was 60 years older, I would have been flirting.

Questions :)

1) Who is the last person you high-fived?ummm... likely Grant or Kelly. I really don't know.

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive? No, I would die in boot camp. Anyway, they can't draft me. I have a crooked arm and malformed wrist.

3) Do you sleep with the TV on? no, I don't think I can do that.

4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton? Only to finish it off.

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee? No, I am not a great speller. Ind do they really still have spelling bees??

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee? I don't think I have. Sweet!

7) How fast can you type? I can go pretty fast finger pecking- but I can't type normally, cuz of the crooked arm.

8) Are you afraid of the dark? Only when I am walking outside at night.

9) What color are your eyes? hazel- rather yellowy at times.

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in? I've never been to a drive-in.

11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower? Last weekend. But before that I hadn't had a bath since November- I am pretty much a shower girl.

12) Do you knock on wood? No.

13) Do you floss daily? Um, no. Sometimes I remember. But I usually forget.

14) Ummm... Anyone seen queston 14? Anywhere??

15) Can you hula hoop? only on my arm.

16) Are you good at keeping secrets? I am good at keeping things confidental.

17) What do you want for Christmas? money, or stuff, I guess.

18) Do you know the Muffin Man? Yup, Shrek 2.

19) Do you talk in your sleep? No. I even have witnesses who would tell me if I did.

20) Who wrote the book of love? Jesus.

21) Have you ever flown a kite? We did it all the time as a kid.

22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes? That is the most bizarre thing ever.

23) Do you consider yourself successful? In some things

24) How many people are on your contact list of your cell? 35- but my cell is my only phone, so it is allowed.

25) Have you ever asked for a pony? No, I was a realistic child. And a little boring. I asked for books.

26) Plans for tomorrow? church, work, and hopefully homework.

27) Can you juggle? No, I lack the coordination.

28) Missing someone now? I miss my Mommy, and I miss my Daddy, and I miss my sister, and I miss my grandpa, and my grandma, and my grandpa, and....

29) When was the last time you told someone I Love You? last time I talked to my mommy.

30) And truly meant it? Last time I talked to my mommy.

31) How often do you drink? I drink several litres of water a day. Nice anwers, QoWP.

32) How are you feeling today? A bit hungry...

33) What do you say too much? ummm.... - that was my answer, by the way.

34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No, I am the goody two shoes.

35) What are you looking forward to? Thursday, I hope-- whenever I am done all my essays.

36) Have you ever crawled through a window? lol, yes. I broke into my friend Rachel's house. But that was only because her brother had locked us out.

37) Have you ever eaten dog food? eeeww!!! no.

38) Can you handle the truth? better the truth than continuing to live a lie.

39) Do you like green eggs and ham? I really don't care, actually.

40) Any cool scars? a small burn scar on my hand.

My to do list

Well, I was bored during English, so I decided to make a to do list.

It was depressing.

There are THIRTY EIGHT items on it. They all have to be done before Saryn's wedding. Many have to be done by Wednesday.

Although, I can cross one thing off... I just finished my paper that was due Wednesday and e-mailed it away.

Two more papers to write before Wednesday. Both of them already have special extentions.

Eeeeek!!!!

Birthday

I had a lovely birthday. On Friday night, a bunch of us went out and watched Memoirs of a Giesha for Julie's birthday, and when we got out it was my birthday. So then we went out for Chinese for both of our birthdays.

Yesterday, I slept in, had a bath, and lazed around. I hung out with the guys who were making wings for the guys night, then went to girls night where we had fondue. They had even made me fancy brownies with Happy Birthday Jen signs in them.

The a couple of younger girls stayed over at my place last night, so we had a slumber party. It was lots of fun- we played scenerios- a jr. high type game where you make up situations about someone with their crush and then they say what they would do. It was actually very fun. I love talking about boys, even if I didn't know the guys they liked, and they didn't know mine. We were in two different age brackets.

Whooohoooo!!! I am 20!

or

Gasp! I am twenty! My teen years are GONE! Where did time go??

Tonight I am just spitting out my feelings

I am kinda sad tonight. So rathing than letting my emotions roll around in circles, I thought I'd write them out, hopefully make sense of them, and get them out of my system. Some things have been bothering me lately, and it is just circling around and around in my head so I am going to spit them out. Hopefully I'll manage to accomplish that without feeling like a big jerk.

WARNING: DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE FEELINGS AND ISSUES OF BEING A SINGLE WOMAN. IF YOUR NAME IS CALEB RALPH JOHNSON, YOU WILL LIKELY BECOME RATHER UNCOMFORTABLE. But if you are genuinely interested, and won't hold what I say against me, please, read on!

I am lonely. I mean, it sounds horrible to say, as I am surrounded by people, and my roommate is my best friend, and I as great as that is, I am still lonely. I mean, as much as I hate sounding like some simply, clinging girl, I really would love to have a guy right now. And at the same time, I KNOW how hurt a girl can get because of a guy, and how much trouble they can be, and how they NEVER will be able to say the perfect thing, or do the perfect thing, to make me feel better, because they are human, but I just can't get the picture of a fairy tale romance out of my head. But I also know that I can't let my self esteem, and my happiness, depend on some guy because when they fail (and they will, because they are human), that would wreck me. And I can't make myself that vulnerable, AND I can't put that responsiblitity on a guy, because that is not his place. Theoretically, it all makes sense. Theoretically, I know that my source of self-esteem and confidence has to come from God, and not a human realtionship. But it is so hard for my heart and emotions to learn what my brain already knows.

It seems that wherever I go, I am surrounded by happy couples. You know what? There are no single people in my class. Everyone has a boyfriend (the few guys that there are have girlfriends.) I come home, and I am surrounded by happy couples, where everything is going great for them, and it seems as though life IS a fairytale romance for them. They are constantly enjoying the others presence- always holding hands, standing close to one another, cooking each other meals, encouraging the other, snuggling together. Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy for them. They are so cute together. But it makes me sad that I don't have that too.

So how do I deal with that? This is where I get stupid. I miss that physical touch- so lately I have realized that I am tending to deliberately, just barely, brush some single guys that live around here. Like, if a bunch of us are watching a movie, I'll sit close just to feel a guys leg next to mine. Or if a bunch of us are lounging on a couch, I'll put my foot just close enough to brush that guy's knee. And it is not like I even really really like the guy- I am just using his presence to comfort myself, and make me feel better. And that is what makes me stupid.

I worry that I'll trick myself. I've done it before- I've managed to let my imagination run away with me, and create a situation in my head that wasn't really there. No, I am not a scitz. But I don't want to trick myself, or make a fool of myself again. I hate feeling stupid, and I don't want to make others uncomfortable around me.

Another thing that makes me sad is just the fact that nobody likes me. Well, no. People like me because I'm a nice person. I just mean that nobody like likes me. No one thinks I'm particularly pretty. No one does special things for just me. No one seeks out my presense just because I make them smile. No one notices me just because I am me.

And that make me wonder: What is wrong with me? Am I unlikable? Do I give off vibes that tell guys to just go away? Is it cuz I am not pretty? Is it cuz I am not funny, not witty, not charming, not flirty? Is it because I am too childish? Am I wierd? What is wrong with me?

And then I remind myself that the man that God has picked out for me is out there somewhere. And that when I do meet him and start to date him, then I'll be glad that I haven't dated other guys. I remind myself that I should make the most out of the time when I am single, and become the best person I can be.

Then I question my motives. Do I want to be a successful single so that I can attract a man? Am I trying to be content with my current singleness, knowing that later I'll have a man in my life? What if I never get married? Shouldn't my satisfaction with singleness come from God, not hoping that later I'll start my 'real' life as a couple? Shouldn't my focus be on God?

Thanks for reading. I realized that it was rather personal, but then I realized that it seems to voice how many single women must feel, so I'll post it as a tribute to all of us. Please don't think poorly of me after reading this. I am not desperate, I am not crazy, it is just that sometimes I get lonely. This isn't meant as an advertisement. It is just meant as an expression of what I am feeling, and maybe it'll help another single woman out there too. It is nice to know that we aren't alone in how we feel.

Wow, spitting out feelings does help. I highly recommend it.

Jen's Want's

• Jen wants to spook Hilton
• Jen wants kids now
• Jen wants us to note the financial upside of saving money
• Jen wants to direct
• Jen wants the world
• Jen wants time out
• Jen wants to study abroad
• Jen wants to know what her mother did to make Chris break up with her
• Jen wants to handle as few fish as possible
• Jen wants it sent on a Friday
• Jen wants to do eleven things
• Jen wants to put together a package
• Jen wants the freedom
• Jen wants to get on that 50 most beautiful bloggers list

Jen's needs

So, following the crowd, I googled my name + need and got:

• Jen needs rates on 2 scenerios
• Jen needs a break
• Jen needs your help
• Jen needs to get back to reality
• Jen needs to be a My Little Pony
• Jen needs some help
• Jen needs to stop being so self absorbed
• Jen needs to demonstrate more self control
• Jen needs to be a parent and get off message boards
• Jen needs to let go and get a life
• Jen needs a title
• Jen needs some more time
• Jen needs U2 tickets

OK, so I did more than 10. But I ran into several pages of people doing exactly this. Plus a lot of stuff on Jen Aniston. I'm gonna do another one...

• Jennifer needs a cold shower
• Jennifer needs your help
• Jennifer needs passion knit
• Jennifer needs to be charged for her crime
• Jennifer needs to recognize that both of you do a good job
• Jennifer needs your news
• Jennifer needs a smack daddy
• Jennifer needs space
• Jennifer needs to do five things
• Jennifer needs to grow up and get over it
• Jennifer needs to know your e-mail address
• Jennifer needs the earth energy in her life

Wow, apparently Jennifers are crazier than simple Jens. Hmmm... let's try..

• Thadyne needs.... nothing
• Last name needs well, nothing, but there was, "Lets hope the Lastname are pigheaded enough to ignore."

I keep meaning to do this

You know, I have been meaning to make a post for ages. I had all these fantastic stories, and now that I am taking the time to write, I have discovered that I don't have any funny stories. Isn't that ironic?

Oh well, I shall just make do with what I have. Last night, Rebekah, Bryce, Grant, and I played Settlers, and Rebekah won. Which means Grant lost! And Bryce! Those two never ever lose! Yay Rebekah!

I came in second. Which means I didn't lose.

Today I led a session in the group at my work experience place. Unfortuately, it was a bit short, as I was anticipating more conversation than was actually present. But that was all right, cuz then they did their computer time too, so it all worked out.

Ooh! Super good news! I hadn't realixed that my anthro final exam was scheduled for the exact same time as Saryn's wedding. I mean, who schedules exams for a Saturday? Anyways, I would have had to miss the wedding. But yesterday I asked my teacher if we could work something out, and she was totally OK with it!! So I get to go.

That is what I get for attending college rather than university. :)

Is this why I haven't had a boyfriend?

jk...

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

I tried to go to school

So yesterday morning I woke up at 6:30 as usual, and got ready to go to school. Since it had snowed A LOT the night before, my friend picked me up way early and we took her boyfriend to work before going to school, so that it would go faster.

We dropped him off in St Albert, and then we turned south to go to school. Normally this drive takes 45 minutes.

An hour later, we had completed a normal distance of 15 minutes of our trip. We were already ridiculously late, and it would take us at least another hour to get there, so...

We gave up, went home, and tried to be productive there.

Winter has arrived in Edmonton! Horray!

All done and plans and a grand adventure

Well, I have good news: All three of those assignments I (just barely) managed to complete on time. I e-mailed the last one in last night, and now I am home free. Nothing is due for two more weeks, and I have Reading Week.

Highlights of Reading Week will include:

• Today: young peoples. Peter and Kelly have prepared something on relationships.
• Tomorrow: Church
• Tuesday: Going to Sherwood Park for a Criminal Record Check, and then giving it to my boss. I can then arrange when to start working. I spent two hours there yesterday for orientation. (Neat fact: The office for my work is just around the corner from this fantastic teashop, called Steepes. Maryanne, you would love it, I'm sure.)
• Next weekend: Going to Saskatoon for my grandparent's 50th anniversary bash. Oooh, I should check to see what YPs will be out there.
• In the middle: This is undecided. I may start working, or I may go home for a couple days. In that case, I want to visit a few friends.

Last night, Grant, Nathan, Dan, Carla, Rebekah, and I were hanging around and decided to go to Steepes. Except that we decided to be adventurous and take the bus, instead of driving. So, with me being the navigator, we went down there and had a fair bit of fun. We took some really funny pictures. Then, it was time to go home, but we had just missed our bus by a minute and a half. It was very sad. The next bus didn't come for an hour, so most of us (not Grant and Dan) decided to hoof it. We were about halfway home when Grant and Dan pulled up in a taxivan, so we all hopped in. And that was our grand adventure.

Valentines Day

Well, I had a rather interesting Valentine's Day. Last night, Rebekah and I were sitting at home watching American Idol when Grant and Peter Hill came over and asked us if we wanted to go out for some dessert for Valentine's Day. It was pretty fun, we went to this cute little restraunt called Cafe Select, and the atmosphere was so incredibly romantic.. they had no overhead lights, just candles, and flowers at all the tables. It was chalk full of couples, straight or otherwise, and I think they were a little wierded out when we asked for 4. Oh well, it would have been wierder to ask for three. Actually, that would have been super funny.

The we went out and drove around Glenora, where all the ritzy houses are overlooking the river and admired them for a while.

So all in all it was rather fun. Who needs a boyfriend on Valentine's Day when you have friends to hang out with?

Actually, I don't believe that myself. But it was worth a try.

Oooh, and I got my invite to Saryn and Dan's wedding yesterday. Yay!

Back to homework.

I am falling behind....

So, I was sitting in my Children and Adolescents class this morning, when it suddenly dawned on me with a gasp of horror that I have three assignments due in the next week and a half, and I haven't started on any of them.

To put is mildly, "Eeek!"

So, you may ask why I am blogging instead of working.

Good question. I don't know myself.

Tagged Again!

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:
BrightStar
Seeking Solace / Clare
Pink Cupcake
Queen of West Procrastination
I'm just plodding along

Next select five people to tag:I'll leave in PC's disclaimer: "Oooh, whilst I like being tagged, I know not everyone does. So, it'd be great if any of the following wanted to give this one a go, but please don't worry if you'd rather not."
Rebekah
Lyn
Janice
Debbie
Caleb

What were you doing 10 years ago?
At this time in 1996, I was nine years old. So I was living on the acerage west of Edmonton and working on grade 4? Or is it 5??

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was working as a youth worker, and still living at home

Five snacks you enjoy:
Chocolate anything
Cinnamon buns
Timmy's Honey Cruller
Apple Strudel
Boiled Rasin cookies

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Let's simplify it and say church songs and country songs, b/c I can't pick.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Pay off my student loan, and then pay for my college
Buy a bed
Support a charity.. I'd have to pick one, though... that's hard.
Take a summer off and go to all the camps
Get a super nice summer home/holiday spot in Victoria.

Five bad habits:
Biting my nails
Procrastination
Hibernating with books
Blanking out
Staying up too late

Five things you like doing:
Travelling
Spending time with loved ones
Playing stratagy/board games
camps
Reading a good book.

Five things you would never wear again:
This huge ugly brown wool sweater
The pretty blue blouse that is too small for me
The jeans that I ripped a huge hole into last night
This dress that looks like the 80s personified
The tights I threw out this weekend for being baggy

Favourite toys:
When I was a kid, I loved dress up clothes....

Procrastination 101... This one's for you, Maryanne

So for my field placement, I have to do a session for the group that I work with. So today I looked over the list of topics that the group suggested, and lo and behold, there was procrastination!

"Well," thought I, "this will be fun!" So I googled procrastination, and came up with lots of stuff. Admittedly, some of it was boring, but there was some fantastic (abiet procrastination encouragers rather than procrastination defeaters) stuff. Some of the award winners (in no particular order) are as follows:

• A cute little article by a philosophy instructor on the wonders of procrastination.

http://www-csli.stanford.edu/~john/procrastination.html

• Procrastination and You, which includes a test to measure your procrastination, quotes on procrastination, suggestions for fun ways to procrastinate, and some other stuff. My test results are as follows:

75 out of a possible 100
You rank between the top 25% and 10% in terms of
procrastination. That is, when it comes to putting things off, you often do so
even though you know you shouldn’t. Likely, you are more free-spirited and
spontaneous than most. Probably, your work doesn’t engage you as much as you
would like or perhaps you are surrounded by easily available and more pleasant
temptations. These temptations may initially seem rewarding, but in the
longer-term, you see many of them as time-wasters. Though you likely often still
get your work done, there is probably a lot of last minute panicking and
unwanted stress. You may want to reduce what procrastination you do commit.

http://www.ucalgary.ca/~steel/procrastinus/

• A rather theoratical article about procrastination, that, while admittedly not the wittiest thing you will ever read in your life, has some interesting ideas on the different types of procrastinators out there.

http://www.paulgraham.com/paulgraham/procrastination.html

• And then, of course, how can I write a discorse on procrastination without directing you to The Queen of West Procrastination?

http://westprocrastination.blogspot.com/

Another Quickie

Well, I am a little chilly right now. The office where I do my field placement is always chilly. Let's see.... I ran out of laundry. I have to stop at the bank on the way home and get a roll of quarters. After all, I need clothes for tomorrow. I also have to mail away my bill payments, so I have to stop at the post office. And.... I guess..... that is it. I am not that interesting right now.

Except.... I still dislike Stephen Harper's hair.

Quickie

Well, this is just a quick post before I leave for young peoples.

I have not been doing much this week, just the bare minimum, so I was very proud of myself today. I caught up on my Family Processes Reading- 2 booklets and 1 book. I also did the dishes, showered, and fit a nice long nap into there. Sigh... naps are beautiful.

I am wearing: brown felt-yish pants, belt, and red t-shirt. Actually, that is all Boxing Day shopping items.

Ooops, time to go.

5 Wierd or Unusual Things about Jen (AKA, me)

I got tagged! Yippee! And then I get to tag people!

1. Whenever my cell phone rings, I think it has a perfect dancing tune, so I waltz towards my phone. In addition, I actually do not know how to waltz.

2. I cannot stand listening to, or have others listening to me, doing their thing in the bathroom. I will always hit the blow drier, and, in cases of a #2, have been known to sit in the stall waiting for the other person in the bathroom to leave so I can complete my business.

3. I enjoy whooping/ cheering. A good "WHOOOOHOOOO!!!!!" is an excellent cheering up method.

4. I have been known to sniff people's shoes when others were wondering if thyey smelled or not. (Incidentally, they didn't smell that bad.)

5.I only like pink nail polish. And only on my toes. I have no idea why I dislike other colors.

I tag Rebekah, Shannon, Stephen, Liam, and Caleb.

Boredom

So, you may as, why am I home alone and bored on a Wednesday night? After all, I ought to be at prayer meeting. Well, when I went to go find a ride or escort to prayer meeting, everyone was not going, instead they were going out to where I did not feel comfortable. I would have walked myself, except it is dark out, and now that I have news again, I see the news bullitans about dangerous creeps, so I don't feel safe going out walking alone after dark.

So instead I am bored. There is no movies, books, or TV I want to see. I have phoned some people, but am done that. So, instead, I blog it out, hoping to keep some connection to the world.

Sigh. Hmmm... I think the 70s Show comes on at 9. That could be fun.....

4 things

Four Things Meme
I just saw this over at Queen of West Procrastination's, and I'm procrasinating...

Four Jobs You've Had In Your Life
1. Library aide (twice)
2. Daycare worker
3. Youth respite worker
4. Volunteered as a tutor

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over
1. Walk to Remember
2. Pirates of the Carribean
3. Anything Zorro
4. The Incredibles

Four Places You've Lived
1. acreage at Stony Plain
2. farm at Opal
3. basement suite in Mill Woods AKA Edmonton
4. apartment in Edmonton with Rebekah!!!

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch
1. Gilmore Girls
2. That 70s Show
3. Friends
4. Everybody Loves Raymond

Four Places You've Been On Vacation
1. North Battleford SK
2. Outside Spokane, WA USA
3. Jasper AB
4. Victoria BC

Four Blogs You Visit Daily (But I check more! That's hard.)
1. Amandolyn and Ky
2. Janny's Blog
3. Queen of West Procrastination
4. Becka's blog

Four Of Your Favourite Foods
1. The cassarole Rebekah made last week
2. lasagna
3. anything chocolate
4. anything (nearly) my mom makes

Four Places You'd Rather Be
1. bed
2. back at camp
3. on a date with the love of my life.... too bad his identity is still uncertain
4. Victoria is always fun, I suppose

Four Albums You Can't Live Without
1. ????
2. I dunno
3. You tell me
4. ???

Four Vehicles You've Owned or Co-owned (in reverse order)
1. I'll put regularly drive/ove, never actually owned... '96 Dodge Caravan
2. '95 Dodge Ram
3. '94 Chevy pickup
4. '91 Plymoth Voyager

The Coolest New Things... For Me, Anyway...

So my interview went pretty good, they have to check my references (which are excellent), and then I'd be matched up with a client and have training.They ran me through scenerios, so it was easy, since I've done it all before.

So I was waiting for the bus, and my feet were killing me.... I walked about 50 blocks today in heels. So I made up a song (First coolest new thing). It goes to the tune of Old Smokey.

"On top of these shoes
All covered in boils,
I was waiting
For the 125.
But the bus never came,
And I got gangrene.
And now my feet
Are nothing but green."

The second coolest new thing is what I did to my computer. The sceensaver is now a powerpoint presentation of all of the photos on the computer. So last night, I turned the wait time to one minute, and we watched a slideshow. It was great. While Rebekah slaughtered me at croquanol. (How do you spell it anyway? Ky, do you know?)

You all should try it.

Yay!

Guess what?!

I got a job interview!!!

I have an interview as a youth worker Thursday at 11. I'm really excited, and rather nervous as well, since I have never had what I would call a real job interview. Usually, I have always just had the job. So tommorrow I will prepare for it.

It would be really great if everyone could remember to pray for me then, that it would go well, and God's will would be done.

Home Again

Well, I am home again from Christmas and New Year's. It was really good, but I am enjoying being at home again.

This is just a quick note to let all of you who I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to that I am sorry. My ride home informed me at breakfast that I had 20 minutes to pack, and then we left super fast. So, I love you all, and I'll see you later!